Current music:	Yiruma - Love Me
Entry tags:	!super junior, *fic, *oneshot, *public, pairing: kyumin

untitled
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rating: PG
pairing: kyuhyun, sungmin
author's notes: this was written for ily_fosho. she wanted angst/hope kyumin and i tried my best to write it for her. i wrote this at 4 in the morning. i edited most of the typos, but there may be a few still in here. 853 words



Kyuhyun misses Sungmin. He misses him. The way Sungmin could make him grin by just making one of his cute faces, the way he fussed over him – not because he was still fragile from the accident – but because Sungmin always had a fondness for him, the magnae of Super Junior. The way Sungmin just loved him. Sungmin knew him better than the rest. It was Sungmin, who he told his deepest secrets and greatest fears. He didn’t choose to tell Sungmin, it just happened naturally. There was a sense of rightness. Kyuhyun knew that Sungmin never lied to him –

Until now.

When it happened, he didn’t really know. Sungmin stops coming to his room at night. He doesn’t give him the smile that’s reserved for him, just a little crooked and always full of sunshine. Hugs at the breakfast table are no longer handed out and so are the little notes Sungmin usually gives him throughout the day to remind him how much he loves him. Hurt and confused, Kyuhyun asks why Sungmin is acting like this and he gets an answer that seeems too fake to be real – but it isn’t because Sungmin doesn’t flinch when he says “I don’t love you anymore.”

Kyuhyun’s heart breaks just a little, but he refuses to believe Sungmin’s words. They can’t be true, not when they’ve said those three little words so many times at dawn wrapped in each other’s arms and at night when they expressed their love with sweet kisses and frantic clutches for each other.

He goes on as if nothing happened, but everyone can see something is wrong. He watches Sungmin get closer to the other members, who are going to be in Super Junior H, as his departure for China draws nearer. He hopes things will get better but they don’t. Every time he tries to get Sungmin alone to talk, the elder brushes him off. He leaves Korea with a broken heart but pushes it to the back of his mind. His attention needs to be focused on Super Junior M. He throws himself into learning Mandarin, the performances, the interviews and pretty soon the thought of Sungmin doesn’t hurt as much as it did before.




Four months pass and Kyuhyun is glad to be going home. He hasn’t gotten over Sungmin.





He’s paralyzed when Sungmin opens the door to their apartment. Everything comes back to him: the hurt, the loss, and the utter loneliness he felt in China the first few days. Donghae comes up behind him and tells him to move. He hastily proceeds into the living room and watches Donghae run into their leader’s arms screaming “hyung.” Hugs and howareyous go around the room. Kyuhyun puts on his happy face and smiles. He can’t show his sadness. Not to the people he’s missed, not to the one person who matters most.





He’s settled in his old room, in his own bed, with his own laptop. Kangin knocks on his door and tells him that dinner should be ready soon. He waves a hand and goes back to his game. It’s good to be home.

Another knock on his door. Kyuhyun doesn’t bother to look up. “I’m coming Kangin hyung!”

“I’m not Kangin hyung.”

Kyuhyun shuts his laptop and slowly looks up into the face of the person he still loves.

“Kyuhyunnie,” Sungmin whispers so inaudibly that Kyuhyun barely hears him.

Tears threaten to fall and he shuts his eyes. He can’t cry. He can’t.

“Go away .” He looks down at his hands and sniffles.

He barely registers the arms that wrap around his neck. Sungmin presses his face into his shoulder.

“I missed you.”

“Hyung please don’t. ” He gently pushes Sungmin away.

Sungmin can see that he’s hurt Kyuhyun. His dongsaeng deserves the truth.

Kyuhyun wants to be alone but Sungmin stops him from kicking him out.

“I know I hurt you, but you have to believe me when I say I missed you so much and I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

Kyuhyun’s heart breaks all over again. The tiny bit of hope he’s carried still burns, but he can’t, won’t be hurt again. He gets up from his bed only to be hugged from behind.

“You know why I told you I didn’t love you anymore?”

Kyuhyun struggles to get out of Sungmin’s grasp. He doesn’t want to hear it.

“Because I was the one who was hurting.”

He stops struggling and whirls around. Tears are falling down Sungmin’s face. Kyuhyun touches the tears with the pads of his thumb and wipes them away.

Sungmin grabs his hand. “I was the one who was hurting. You were leaving and I wanted you to stay so much, but I couldn’t tell you not to go because its your job and because this is what we signed up for. It hurt so much to ignore you, pretend I didn’t love you when I loved you probably more than ever. I’m sorry Kyuhyun. I’m sorry. I love you.”

Kyuhyun hugs Sungmin fiercely and smiles. He was right. Sungmin never lied to him.

***

i need more kyumin and eunhae. but the kyuhae lysa wrote for me makes up for it.
comments are appreciated :)